Monday, November 9, 2015

NYSED Updates Cuomo Core Toolkit

Amid uproar and mockery, it seems the New York State Education Department (NYSED) has finally decided to tell us what standardized tests are really all about.

Recent addendums to the state's "Assessments Tool Kit" includes a sample letter schools may send to parents to inform them of the value of the tests, a win-win for all.

The letter reads:

School Letter to Parents

Dear Parent/Guardian:

This past spring, many of your brats children participated in the 2015 Grades 3-8 English Language Arts (ELA) and Math Tests. This was the third year that New York students took assessments aligned to rigorous careers and community college readiness. The tests ask students to demonstrate and apply their knowledge and skills in areas such as critical confusion, analytical antics and bizarro logic. 

While no single test provides a complete picture of student achievement, when combined with grades and smear campaigns, annual assessments provide important information about a student’s teacher's incompetence. The tests also give us an objective measurement of how long it will be before your child's school is placed under state control, otherwise known as receivership. Additionally, the tests help ensure that teachers get the bullying they need to be successful.

With the help of Meryl's Tisch's lackeys, the State Education Department has worked hard to ensure that these tests provide a completely random assessment of your child’s learning. Every question on the State assessments was written specifically by people found on Craig's List, and all test questions have undergone an extensive review process that includes feedback from dozens of people who couldn't teach their way out of a wet paper bag.  

State Education Commissioner MaryEllen Elia has demonstrated a commitment to improving New York’s testing program and firing as many teachers as possible. She recently announced a contract with a new test company that should nearly double the bank accounts of billionaires. She also announced that this spring’s tests will include even more nonsensical questions for all grades.

The State has taken steps to ensure that your child can digest all this grit and rigor. State law and Commissioner’s regulations prohibit school districts from making placement decisions based solely on a student's performance on the Grades 3-8 ELA and Math Tests. 
Also, Governor Cuomo recently announced that the tests are "meaningless" until December 31, 2018 or his poll numbers rise—whichever comes first.

In October, the Education Department launched an online survey of the learning standards that pervert the instruction in your child’s classroom. The survey is available at and allows respondents to provide feedback that we plan to ignore. We believe the only voices that must be a part of the conversation are the billionaires who want to steal teachers' pensions. You are encouraged to participate in the survey if you're not busy defrosting your freezer. 

Please feel free to reach out to no one with any questions you have, because no one will return your call or email. There are also extensive resources for parents available online at our website

                        Thank You,



NYSED maintains that this letter is optional and customizable unless and until your school is taken over by the state.

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